Toilet Learning

I'm so sick of this! My 2.5 year old daughter is in the middle of being trained. She's totally ready but because of psychological issues it's just not working. The psychological issues that I'm talking about are the fact that I'm going to give birth soon, she just started going to a new gan about two and a half weeks ago, and typical toddler toilet training issues. I'm trying to get her trained before I give birth. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. She's gone through a lot of ups and downs. She can totally do it but is now playing games with it. Last week she decided to hold it in at her gan. Every day I would take her to the toilet before leaving for work and then when I would pick her up the ganenet would tell me that she hadn't made all day. This week she's started to make at gan but yesterday she literally gave the ganenet hell. She did the exact opposite of whatever she was told. If the ganenet told everyone to clean up, she spread all the toys out. If she told everyone to stay inside, she openned the door for them. Now she's enjoying being in control. She wants to make when she feels like it. What this can mean is that she'll hold it in way too long and then make anywhere but the toilet. I have to count my blessings because so far we've avoided accidents on the couch B"H but that doesn't mean it won't happen sooner or later. NOT FUN! She also refuses to go when I ask her to. If I say to her: "Let's try to see if anything comes out." She throws a tantrum. She literally kicks and screams at the top of her lungs. She grabs her blanket and then puts it in her mouth, biting it like there's no tomorrow. Then she just continues to cry. If I try to get her to talk she just screams louder and regresses to babydom. She's talking less and less and throwing more and more tantrums. Really fun for me because I'm the one she spends the most time with. It's gotten to the point where I literally cry almost every day. I feel so helpless and I can't stand it. I wish she'd just do it on her own like I know she can. This is not happening however, and I'm worried what will be in a few weeks when the baby does come. How much more can we regress? Let's not answer that. So for now, I remain an extremely frustrated and depressed parent who is extremely thankful when 8 PM comes because then........the house is quiet. Only 3.5 hours to go! Yay.

Miriam Adahan

Miriam Adahan has been giving shiurim on our yishuv for the past two weeks. I love her stuff and have heard her speak before. She's just great. The only way I'd miss a class is if I either give birth on the day of a class or am too tired to attend with a two day old. She always says such great things in a new way. She breaks things down so that her methods are doable and she is very into encouragement. I hope that these shiurim will allow me to work on my middot.

Right now I'm going through a real slump. I'm in my ninth month and am exhausted all the time. My daughter is being potty trained and is having accidents about once a day. She is also regressing and decided to stop talking and start grunting and crying. I don't know if this has to do with the toilet learning or the new baby who will arrive soon enough. All I know is that it's too hard for me to deal with this in my ninth month.

So Miriam Adahan was talking about overcoming little obstacles in our daily lives. She gave tons of examples and it sounds so good. But then I get home and get lazy and although I really try to follow her guidlines I'm just too tired to do so. If this were at any other point in my life I'd probably take to it much better. I really have to force myself to get more into this avodat hamidot. It's something that I've been meaning to do for a while and that I really would like to do not just for me, but for my husband and kids.

Last year I learned Tanach in memory of my grandmother. I tried to learn one chapter every day but it didn't always work. This year maybe my focus will be more mussar and midot. I don't feel that I'm in a position to commit to anything though. I don't know what will be after I give birth. If my kiddies are acting up now, before the baby is out of my belly then what will be later. Because I am a realist let's assume that the situation will not be getting much better later on. Later I'll have to divide my attention in three. As it is I have a hard time sitting and doing homework with my oldest. My daughter needs tons of attention and she's an off the wall toddler so she really needs to be watched 100% of the time. Maybe a different time I'll detail some of the wild and crazy things she's done in her short lifetime so far. How on earth am I going to nurse a baby, do homework, and give attention to a bouncy toddler? Help! I feel like I'm already drowing and I haven't even tried to swim yet. That's basically why I feel like I can't commit to a nightly learning plan. We'll see what happens in the end.

Heat Wave

Wow. I never quite realized how hard it is to be pregnant during the summer. For the life of me I can't seem to regulate my body temperature. No matter how hot or cool it is outside I'm always about 20 degrees hotter than everyone else. All I have to do is get off the couch and I feel like I need a shower to cool off and wash off all of the sweat. I can't go anywhere or do anything without A/C. Thank goodness yesterday was a little cooler so I really enjoyed the break from the hot weather. Today however was back to the sunny and hot weather and as if that's not enough I let my hubby have the car so that he could do a massive shopping. Well what that means for me of course is that I must walk all over to pick up the kids. Walking to my son's cheider is not so fun although better than it was last year. I left extra early so I would have time to take breaks. Then we had to walk and pick up my daughter. All I wanted to do was sit in a bathtub full of ice cubes by the time I got home. Well I guess if I were to look at the bright side I would be happy that the pregnancy is almost over. I'm finally in my ninth month and hopefully the weather will be getting cooler as the chagim approach.

Updates

Wow, I haven't posted for a while so really there is so much to say. I'll start by saying Mazal Tov to my former roommate who got engaged! I'm so excited for her but since I'm almost in my 9th month I won't be going to her vort tonight. I told her that when I was 9 months preggy with my oldest, I danced at another friends wedding and then went into labor after that. I know that if I go I'll want to dance. I'll just have to wish a mazal tov from the sidelines. I really hope she gets married here so we can go to the wedding. It would be so much fun to have another friend living here in E"Y.

Also, a daughter of a family on the yishuv got engaged .... to Rav Leff's son. Mazal Tov to them. So much excitement going on around here.

Starting off the day with these two wonderful bits of news makes me so happy. I think I'll just leave it at that for now.